So, its been 2 months since my declaration and I’ve made some headway. I’ve cut down on my alcohol consumption, but still got white girl wasted on Friday night. I’ve also stopped buying cigarettes, but have been bumming them off strangers when I go out. The significant increase has been my level of activity.
To do list for this month:
- Find a fitness class
- Pre-planned meals
- No fast food
I haven’t lost any weight, so I still have 20 pounds to go.
I never thought I would be married with a child, own my own home and have a great career by 30. But I suprised myself. But the real shocker is that I haven’t been able let go of my all my bad habits.
- binge drinking
- consuming too much crap
- yo-yo dieting
- not respecting my body
- inconsistent exercise
- difficulty forgiving
Lately, my justification when “rewarding myself” hasnt really been cutting it. The guilt of not being the best person I can be has been getting to me. So much that it drives me to self sabotage and hurt myself even more. I just don’t wanna do this anymore. Over it, done, finished, sianarra.
I figure my first step is to make myself accountable to myself. Writing terrible stuff about yourself sucks, and by typing out my short commimg, I might actually have to face the music and be more aware through self reflection.
Day 1 starts today. No more excuses, no more rewarding myself with things that don’t serve me well.